Yes, some families take the bull by the horns, and do this themselves, but it makes really good sense to get outside help in making absolutely sure that every base has been touched.

Specifically, your children and your loved ones should be able to have resources and tangible memories which help them answer these kinds of questions:

•    What dreams did they have for me?
•    How have they seen the world change around them, and how do they feel about it?
•    What kind of family were they hoping to create?
•    Were there any mistakes made which they’d like to see me avoid?
•    What activities were they most glad to have participated in?
•    How did they make decisions about what to do as a family?

There are more questions, like this, of course, that you could cover…but the main point I want to make with you is this:

You just never know when these questions will be asked.

You see, most people see estate planning as something you "do once" and never have to think about again. That’s just flat incorrect.

Just like your health can take a dramatic turn (for the better or worse) in a year, your estate planning decisions can change dramatically in a short period. Sometimes, something as simple happens as the people you’ve identified to serve as the guardians for your minor children moving out of state. That’s just one of many good reasons to revisit your estate planning decisions.

But if you want to raise kids who can create and manage wealth, there are a handful of critical rules that are foundational.

Here’s the main one: Postpone spending.

In economics, "deferred consumption" is the very definition of wealth and capital. So … defer your consumption, kids! Everything you don’t spend today is wealth. Only what you don’t spend today is available for investing. And since money makes money, what you don’t spend today can provide a lifetime of income to spend in the coming days.

Teach them this: Wealth is what you save, not what you spend.

Most of the younger generation is under the false impression that wealth is based on the luck of a big salary. Nothing could be further from the truth. According to the book The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley, the affluent tend to answer ‘yes’ to these three questions:
1.) Were your parents very frugal?
2.) Are you frugal?
3.) Is your spouse more frugal than you are?

So how did they build their wealth? According to Stanley’s research, they did it slowly, living well below their means and investing about 20% of their household income each year. And because money makes money, over time, they grew gradually richer and richer.

Imagine you purchase a pair of shoes for $50 every year. The person that makes do with the old ones and only buys shoes every other year will be able to save and invest the difference. After seven years, their savings will be earning enough interest to pay for a new pair of shoes every other year. After eleven years, the interest from the investment will pay for the cost of buying new shoes every year, forever.

Because being frugal early in life produces great wealth later in life.

Due to the affluence of American culture, it is difficult to learn to distinguish between needs and wants. Very few purchases are needs. Other than food, shelter and clothing, everything else is optional. In the United States, we show our extravagance even in these three essentials.

Practically speaking, you can learn to postpone spending one purchase at a time. When our children were very young, we required them to wait one week before spending money on a toy. Often, after waiting a week, they wanted a different toy instead. Then, they had to wait another week for that purchase.

Simply learning to delay and avoid impulse buying can cut your children’s spending in half.

I hate to see those with resources squander them, simply because they fell prey to the rampant fear.

Watch out for it in your own heart, in that of your children and spouse — and avoid these behaviors of the poor:

*They use credit habitually for "lifestyle" purchases: Delayed gratification isn’t something that they’ve heard of, and if they want something they just put in on credit.  After all — it’s at a 0% interest rate for the first 3 months!   One purchase leads to another, and before they know it they’ve got thousands in credit card debt.

Debt loads in the wealthy can look different, but the principles remain the same. Avoid leverage these days; keep your powder dry. Your lifestyle isn’t worth expensive cashflow.

* Always pay more than they have to: Often people who are broke have gotten there because they don’t know how to shop for a deal, negotiate or ask for a discount.  You can get a discount on just about anything — from electronics to health care.  Never pay more than you have to.

Why is it that the wealthy take perverse pride in paying full retail? It goes before the fall, as they say … so don’t become pennywise/pound foolish — but neither should you eschew effective negotiation in multiple categories.

* Fall prey to lifestyle inflation and "keeping up with the Joneses": This is a biggie for the wealthy. Even people with higher incomes have problems with staying ahead in their budget because they fall prey to lifestyle inflation.  Instead of banking and saving raises, they raise their standard of living — buying a bigger better house, a new car and a new wardrobe.  They feel like they have to keep up appearances with everyone in their neighborhood.

Take a good hard look at what motivates your purchasing, and clean out the dustbunnies of comparison, lest they fill your brain with poverty-thinking.

 * They rely on others to fix their problems:  We’ve probably all known someone who is always going to their parents, family or friends to bail them out.  They create a pile of debt, and then rely on the kindness of others to get them out of their bind.

* They forfeit future gains for fun today:  These people often have a hard time visualizing how saving and hard work will pay off down the road, and instead live for the fun and pleasures of today.  They don’t realize how saving for tomorrow can improve their quality of life today.

Don’t sacrifice your retirement (or estate) on the altar of present-ease.

Obviously, I’d like to help you move past these behaviors, if any apply. You may not carry every one of these traits, but just one or two can get you into hot water.